Powerful dream with Guruji Sri Vast

In the dream I had this morning, I came to the ashram and there was a sort of happening with people just having finished lunch or dinner. I sat down at the table with an attitude of how you usually knew me (from the past). I was a bit aloof, possibly coming across as a bit arrogant, separated, egocentric, but essentially a little doubtful and fearful about everything, especially myself. 

I looked into the eyes of someone I did not know, but I could recognize him as a disciple since he was wearing a white shawl. I looked away and then back at him again and met his eyes deeper. Then Guruji Sri Vast (whom I mention in my book) set down from across me at the table and I did not look at him much, only recognized him by folding my hands in a namaste pose in front of my heart. He did not give me much attention. Everyone wanted his attention (as usual). Then I felt his presence and started crying like a baby. This is when Guruju recognized what was happening to me and he put me on the table and lay on top of me – not physically. He sort of hovered above me, and it, or he, did not feel intimidating. Suddenly, I felt something like a bubble in the left upper quadrant of my heart-area pop. This release inside my body opened my heart chakra (a little more). The master then started doing what I saw him do before with others. He began healing me energetically and I cried a lot more, not out of pain, but with innocence, because I remembered who I am, and I relaxed into that (beingness). I felt he was transmitting some of his energy into and through me. When I was finally “done” and sort of sobbing, feeling like reborn, he whispered into my ear to come and meet him in a few days to have a glass of wine with snacks and we can talk about it. It was funny to me and I started laughing, still crying. I whispered back, “I will be there, but I won’t drink any wine”. This is when I woke up. 

I went over the dream many times not to forget it so I could write it down. I know there are many (healing) miracles with Guruji Sri Vast over the years, but it’s different experiencing it – even in a dream! Not that I had totally forgotten who I am (eternal light and a shining soul-star), but the conditioning of life has stained that light with shadows, just like a dirty rag that used to be spotless, wipes up dirt, or a magnet which attracts metal. Now I have a feeling of wanting to wear white, to change my outfit and I was looking for my initiatory shawl, which I don’t even know where it is? I have it somewhere, but it became more distant to me in the past few months and it has spots on it. It strongly feels that it really should be renewed as a symbol of my connection to Guruji Sri Vast and his to me, for which I am so thankful and eternally grateful. To be honest, I have not been fully devoted to Guruji, not like I am devoted to Lord Shiva. However, after this experience, I am ready to adjust the level of my devotion in renewed ways and I’d really like to go a lot deeper, without expectations, but with full belief, no doubts and gratefulness. As I am writing this, my eyes are still wet and I feel vulnerable, but I also feel a lot of love and I feel the love of Guruji, who has so much sensitivity to wait until someone is ready to open them in the most beautiful ways – a little more and a little more until the bubble of illusion of erroneous self dissolves and merges with the cosmic. If I am touched by diving grace, which I know I am because of Guruji’s love, this cosmic experience will be bestowed upon me, which would fulfil the sole purpose of my life and then, I’d be gone! One day, perhaps … freedom shall reign.

Thank you, dear Guruji and all those who support him with their devotional love and are supported by that.  

With Love, Torsten

* I hope you are all safe and please forgive me (for my ignorance).